Poor communication during relationship conflict is the most prevalent and difficult to treat problem couples can experience in their relationships. Our research examines the consequences of the different ways couples try to improve their relationship problems, such as whether expressing anger and hostility versus communicating affection and optimism during conflict helps or harms relationships. Our work shows that ‘negative’ communication behaviours, such as anger and hostility, can sometimes produce increases in relationship wellbeing because they directly target problems and motivate partner change.
In contrast, a warm affectionate approach to conflict can maintain positivity in the short term, but it can produce serious costs if couples continue to face growing problems over time. The impact of different conflict strategies, however, depends on a range of contextual variables, including the self-esteem and attachment insecurity of each partner, and how the responses of each partner jointly influence each other. Our research suggests that, although conflict can be tough and difficult to manage, conflict can also offer the opportunity for relationships to grow and become more secure.
McRae, C.S., Overall, N.C., Henderson, A.M.E., Low, R.S.T., & Cross, E.J. (online advance). Conflict-Coparenting Spillover: The role of actors’ and partners’ attachment insecurity and gender. Journal of Family Psychology. doi.org/10.1037/fam0000884
Pietromonaco, P.R., Overall, N.C. & Power, S.I. (online advance). Depressive symptoms, external stress, and marital adjustment: The buffering effect of partner’s responsive behavior. Social Psychological and Personality Science. doi.org/10.1177/19485506211001687
Sasaki, E., Overall, N.C., Chang, V.T., & Low, R.S. T. (online advance). A dyadic perspective of emotional suppression: Own or partner suppression weakens relationships. Emotion. doi.org/10.1037/emo0000978
Pietromonaco, P.R., Overall, N.C., Beck, L.A., & Powers, S.I. (2021). Is low power associated with submission during marital conflict? Moderating roles of gender and traditional gender role beliefs. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 12, 165-175. doi.org/10.1177/1948550620904609
Overall, N.C., Chang, V.T., Pietromonaco, P.R., Low, S.T. & Henderson, A.M.E. (online advance). Partners’ attachment insecurity and stress predict poorer relationship functioning during COVID-19 quarantines. Social Psychological and Personality Science. doi.org/10.1177/1948550621992973
Sasaki, E., & Overall, N.C. (2021). Partners’ withdrawal when actors behave destructively: Implications for perceptions of partners’ responsiveness and relationship satisfaction. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 47, 307-323. doi.org/10.1177/0146167220926820
Overall, N.C. (2020). Behavioral variability reduces the harmful longitudinal effects of partners’ negative-direct behavior on relationship problems. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000231
Low, R.S.T., Overall, N.C., Cross, E.J., & Henderson, A.M.E. (2019). Emotion regulation, conflict resolution, and spillover on subsequent family functioning. Emotion, 19, 1162-1182. doi.org/10.1037/emo0000519
Overall, N.C. (2018). Does partners’ negative-direct communication during conflict help sustain perceived commitment and relationship quality across time? Social Psychological and Personality Science, 9, 481-492. doi.org/10.1177/1948550617712030
Thompson, R.A., Overall, N.C., Cameron, L.D., & Low, R.S.T. (2018). Emotional suppression during relationship conflict: Regulating the risk of rejection via emotional suppression impedes conflict resolution. Journal of Family Psychology, 32, 722-732. doi.org/10.1037/fam0000429
Overall, N.C., & McNulty, J.K. (2017). What type of communication during conflict is beneficial for intimate relationships? Current Opinion in Psychology, 13, 1-5. doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.03.002
Overall, N.C., Hammond, M.D., McNulty, J.K., & Finkel, E.J. (2016). Power in context: Relationship and situational power interact to predict men’s aggression. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 111, 195-217. doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000059
Overall, N.C., Girme, Y.U., & Simpson, J.A. (2016). The Power of Diagnostic Situations: How support and conflict can foster growth and security. In C.R. Knee and H.T. Reis (Eds.), Positive Approaches to Optimal Relationship Development. New York: Cambridge University Press.
Sillars, A., & Overall, N.C. (2016). Coding observed interaction. In D. Canary & A. VanLear (Eds.), Researching Communication Interaction Behavior: A Sourcebook of Methods and Measures. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
Jayamaha, S.D., Antonellis, C., & Overall, N.C. (2016). Attachment insecurity and inducing guilt to regulate romantic partners. Personal Relationships. doi.org/10.1111/pere.12128
Jayamaha, S.D., & Overall, N.C. (2015). The Moderating effect of agents’ self-esteem on the success of negative-direct partner regulation strategies. Personal Relationships, 22, 738–761. doi.org/10.1111/pere.12108
Overall, N.C., Fletcher, G.J.O., Simpson, J.A., & Filo, J. (2015). Attachment insecurity, biased perceptions of romantic partners’ negative emotions, and hostile relationship behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 108(5):730-749. doi.org/10.1037/a0038987 Download PDF
Overall, N.C., Girme, Y.U., Lemay, E.P. Jr., & Hammond, M.D. (2014). Attachment anxiety and reactions to relationship threat: The benefits and costs of inducing guilt in romantic partners. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 106, 235-256. doi.org/10.1037/a0034371 Download PDF
Overall, N.C., Simpson, J.A., & Struthers, H. (2013). Buffering attachment avoidance: Softening emotional and behavioral defenses during conflict discussions. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 104, 854-871. doi.org/10.1037/a0031798 Download PDF
Overall, N.C., & Simpson, J.A. (2013). Regulation processes in close relationships. In J.A. Simpson & L. Campbell (Eds.), Oxford Handbook of Close Relationships (pp. 427-451). New York: Oxford University Press.
Overall, N.C. (2012). The costs and benefits of trying to change intimate partners. In P. Noller & G. Karantzas (Eds.), Wiley-Blackwell Handbook of Couple and Family Relationships (pp. 234-247). Wiley-Blackwell.
Overall, N.C., Fletcher, G.J.O., & Tan, R. (2012). Feedback processes in intimate relationships: The costs and benefits of Partner Regulation Strategies. In R. M. Sutton, M. M. Hornsey, & K. M. Douglas (Eds.), Feedback: The Handbook of Praise, Criticism, and Advice (pp. 169-184). New York: Peter Lang.
Overall, N.C., Fletcher, G. J. O., Simpson, J. A., & Sibley, C.G. (2009). Regulating partners in intimate relationships: The costs and benefits of different communication strategies. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 96, 620-639. doi.org/10.1037/a0012961 Download PDF
Overall, N.C., Fletcher, G. J. O., & Simpson, J.A. (2006). Regulation processes in intimate relationships: The role of ideal standards. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91, 662-685. doi.org/10.1037/0022-35220.127.116.112 Download PDF
Other Relevant Publications:
Dixon, H.C., & Overall, N.C. (2018). Regulating fears of rejection: Dispositional mindfulness attenuates the links between daily conflict, rejection fears and destructive relationship behaviors. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 35, 159-179. doi.org/10.1177/0265407516678486
Russell, V.M., Baker, L.R., McNulty, J.K., & Overall, N.C. (2018). “You’re Forgiven, but Don’t Do It Again!” Direct Partner Regulation Buffers the Costs of Forgiveness. Journal of Family Psychology, 32, 435-444. doi.org/10.1037/fam0000409
Baker, L.T., McNulty, J.K., & Overall, N.C. (2014). When negative emotions benefit relationships. In W.G. Parrott (Ed.), The Positive Side of Negative Emotions (pp. 101-125). New York: Guilford.
Baker, L.T., McNulty, J., Overall, N.C., Lambert, N., & Fincham, F. (2013). How do relationship maintenance behaviors affect individual well-Being? A contextual perspective. Social and Personality Psychological Science, 4, 282-289. doi.org/10.1177/1948550612452891 Download PDF
Campbell, L., Overall, N.C., Rubin, H., & Lackenbauer, S.D. (2013). Inferring a partner’s ideal discrepancies: Accuracy, projection, and the communicative role of interpersonal behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 105, 217-233. doi.org/10.1037/a0033009 Download PDF
Hira, S.N., & Overall, N.C. (2011). Improving intimate relationships: Targeting the partner versus changing the self. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 28, 610-633. doi.org/10.1177/0265407510388586 Download PDF
Overall, N.C., Sibley, C.G., & Tan, R. (2011). The costs and benefits of sexism: Resistance to influence during relationship conflict interactions. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 101, 271–290. doi.org/10.1037/a0022727 Download PDF
Overall, N.C., & Fletcher, G.J.O. (2010). Perceiving regulation from intimate partners: Reflected appraisal and self-regulation processes in close relationships. Personal Relationships, 17, 433-456. doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2010.01286.x Download PDF
Overall, N.C., & Sibley, C.G. (2010). Convergent and Discriminant Validity of the Accommodation Scale: Evidence from Three Diary Studies. Personality and Individual Differences, 48, 299-304. doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2009.10.020 Download PDF
Overall, N.C., & Sibley, C.G. (2008). When accommodation matters: Situational dependency within daily interactions with romantic partners. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 44, 95-104. doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2007.02.005 Download PDF
Friesen, M.D., Fletcher, G.J.O., & Overall, N.C. (2005). A dyadic assessment of forgiveness in intimate relationships. Personal Relationships, 21, 61-77. doi.org/10.1111/j.1350-4126.2005.00102.x Download PDF